It seems like there is no end to the stories from women who are allowing themselves to be mistreated, and seem to think that it’s normal. Here’s a brief synopsis of a recent one:
“My dad said he’ll bless our marriage..few weeks after that my bf pulled back and got cold feet ..said he wasn’t ready for this kind of commitment. He didn’t even say goodbye, said that he could never have the courage to say that to me and that it would kill him..he just sent me a txt msg with what he felt and then his mom whom I’m in a very good relationship with told me how he feels about all that and how he loves me but he can’t get married not now at least..”
So after this immature and “momma’s boy” behavior, she still asks me this:
“I know how much he loves me ..up to this point I’m not mad at him..my bf can never live without me, and I can’t either…its been almost 2 weeks now and he’ll call me very soon, I’m used to that:) but should I forgive what he did now and get back to him when he decides he’s ready?”
So my answer went something like this: “Your problem is this – why are you attracted to an immature man who treats you so badly? Do you not have pride in yourself as a woman who is worthy of being treated with respect?
If you don’t learn to respect yourself, it won’t matter if you go back to this same guy or not. You’ll find another guy, and he will disrespect you, too. You are a wonderful human being and you deserve to be treated right. Please do not settle for anything less in a relationship. Remember, when you are dating, the man is showing his best side. It will NOT get better after you marry.”
So what causes this? What the woman learned in her family. She learned that she isn’t important and waiting for the man to be nice is normal. She watched her mother be treated this way and she was treated this way by her father. To her it was normal. So now she has a guy who treats her like that and she is hoping that she can be good enough to be worthy of some attention.
How sad.
